Caregivers Need Care Too!

Both my parents are still alive. They're feisty 82 year olds fighting the weakening of their bodies with indomitable spirit and grit. Despite all they do for themselves and each other, the reality is they need help. Actually a lot more than they will allow. But they depend on me, my sister, our husbands, devoted cousins, and loving friends to help fill in the widening gaps of their care.

It's especially hard because I live in a different city. Both my sister and I do. I'm much geographically closer than she is; a short hour and a half plane ride away compared to her cross country trek. We take turns so that one of us is there every month to coordindate their daily care needs.

When we fly into town for our care visits, it is a whirlwind of doctors appointments, cleaning, cooking, shopping and the like. And we share precious moments of holding each other, grooming, laughing and talking until the wee hours. It is very rewarding work, and I am honored to do it. It is also physically exhausting and emotionally draining.

Caregiving from afar is a difficult, intense, guilt-evoking thing. Were it not for the incredible network of people who attend to their daily needs, I would wither from the worry and helplessness I feel sometimes.

I realize that my story mirrors the situation that many of you face. Whether in the same city or far away, caregiving is an awesome responsbility. I often feel so drained, that days can go by without proper sleep, eating, and sometimes without even bathing my own stinky behind!

Fellow caregivers, how do you take care of yourself in the midst of all that is? I'm searching for some sistah self-care advice. Please share. Anxious to hear from y'all.